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@Jenna_Marbles Friendship, You’re Doing It Wrong

December 14, 2012

All of you know who Jenna Marbels is right? She’s a YouTube celebrity. She talks about things. People think she is insightful and amusing. Some people.

A couple of days ago she posted this.

Because she’s our friend and she’s looking out for us. She’s not making fun of us, individually, you know, personally. She’s just making fun of our”slutty”  choices. Because that’s different? And OK? I am completely baffled and dumbfounded too Jeanna, but not by “slut logic,” by your friend logic.

Totally aside from you buying into the idea that men are predators and women are victims, with your murder, gang rape examples, I think perhaps you need some remedial friend lessons, because judging by this video, you’re an awful friend. Like, awful. More than that, I think you revealed a lot about yourself that maybe you didn’t intend to. Or perhaps you did. I don’t know.

You think that women have greater body issues than men? I’m not going debate the reasons for that. I’m not going to point out that men have body issues too. OK, I just did point that out so I guess I will.

One of the things that you’ve revealed about yourself is that you don’t understand how relationships work.

Guess what, honey? Lots of people are ethically non-monogamous. They have many partners and are perfectly happy with that. They are confident and comfortable and honest. Per your definition they are also, apparently, sluts. Your list o’ definitions specifically included women who sleep with other girl’s boyfriends, naming them sluts. I notice however, that the boyfriends are not named. Why is that Jenna? Why are you buying in to the societal fallacy that women who sleep with multiple partners are sluts but not mentioning men? Seriously. That’s something I don’t understand about people in general and you specifically. You should know better.

If I’m in a monogamous relationship with someone and I have sex with someone else without prior agreement the problem is not with the other person. The problem is with me! I’m wrong. I did a shitty thing. The other person, who may or may not have had any idea about my relationship status? They are not the fucking problem.Girls who sleep with other girl’s boyfriends? Are often lied to right along with he girlfriend.

By the way, does the fact that I’m female and in a relationship with a female mean that I can’t be a slut if I only lie and cheat on her with other females? Am I only a slut if I have had over a certain, and according to your arbitrary number of dicks in me? So, if I get blackout drunk and go home with a woman for a one night stand, as most lesbians and a lot of bisexuals would, I’m cool right? Good to know.

So, in case I’m not making myself clear, I’m going to lay it out simply. Your video is sexist and hetero-normative and ignorant in the extreme.

Here are my questions for you, Jenna.

Can you please just admit that your definition of a slut is “a female who has more sex than Jenna?”

Can you examine the possibility that defining slut that way is a fairly ignorant, sexist, shitty way to look at other humans?

Can you tell me how being ignorant, sexist and shitty equates to you being a friend to anyone except for other people who are ignorant, sexist and shitty?

I know you think that being a slut is a choice. I want to inform you that being ignorant is a choice. Being sexist? Also a choice. Being shitty? Choice. So maybe, if you really want to be a good friend, you should look at making different choices.

Jenna, you’re not being a friend. You’re being mean. You’re being sexist. You’re being shitty and it kind of appears as if you’re doing it to make yourself feel better about your body issues or being cheated on. If that’s the kind a friend you are, you frankly, are not the kind of person I want in my life because that kind of person is toxic.

I’ll give you props for encouraging others to step up for women they think are in dangerous situations. I would give you more props if you hadn’t devalued the women in dangerous situations by calling them sluts for five minutes before hand. Knock that shit off.

Having said all that, a not small portion of the people who are arguing against you, Jenna are using the fact that you got your start “dancing in your underwear,” as a rebuttal. You know what people? THAT”S NOT COOL! That’s slut shaming too. Could you maybe try not to be massive hypocrites while you’re trying to fight against sexism? Pretty please?

 

P.S. Remember the day before yesterday when I wrote about guns in America? The Portland Mall shooting? A stolen gun, that had been legally obtained by its original owner. The murder of Jordan Davis? A legal gun that was legally concealed. The murderer of Trayvon Martin? Legal gun.  Can we stop pretending the problem is illegal guns or “the wrong people” obtaining guns? The problem is fucking guns.

I’ll leave you with the incomparable words of Ms. C.J. Cregg.

 

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 14, 2012 3:59 PM

    Actually, I had never heard of Jenna Marbels until today. Based on what you’ve related here, I don’t think I really want to know anything else about her.

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