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Dear Social Conservatives, You Are Absolutely Right!

June 15, 2013

No really. I think you guys have got it together.

You should absolutely keep pushing forward candidates that write books stating that birth defects come as a result of sinful parents.

Your front running presidential hopefuls, should keep pushing for immigration reform and then reversing their positions and making it clear that while they think immigration is a vital issue, hating the gays matters so very much more.

Also, he should make extra, double super, plus, plus clear that firing someone because they are homosexual is fine and we should not, under any circumstances protect them from that kind of thing.

While speaking in favor of immigration reform, one of your other “presidential frontrunners,” (who also has great name recognition) should be sure to use an insulting stereotype  that has been leveled at every targeted immigrant group since this country first made immigration laws.

Further, panelists at your influential Faith And Freedom Coalition Conference’s minority outreach discussion should be extra careful to assert the ever convincing and not at all racist trope of minorities being “paid by the government,” AKA the White Man’s Burden, as the reason that they can’t convince minorities to vote for them.

While you’re doing that be sure to ramp up the stupid and totally counter-factual statements about rape and pregnancy.

If you have any time left in your busy day you should top it all off by doubling down on all the failed rhetoric from the last two elections you can get your hands on.

I mean, that all seemed to work out so well for you the last time.

Except, no. It didn’t work out at all so actually, WFT?

Remember this? Thank You Crazy!

I sure do.

And, you know what? If your goal is to keep losing election after election because you’re to mired in your conviction that it is your messaging and not your message that was the problem, that’s totally fine. We can do that. We’ve done it in the past. If you’re having trouble recalling I will remind you that the past of which I speak was in early November, 2012.

If you’re trying to set up Chris Christie as the only sane man in your party, you can do that too, although I would point out two things.

1. His blatant refusal to keep his word when doing so might have harmed him electorally is not something people will just forget.

2. He’s still got to win a primary and judging by the people who tend to vote in your primaries, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Look guys, I know you don’t believe me but I really do want two rational functioning parties in the US. I want the best ideas to be debated and implemented and I want them to come from the best candidates.

Shit like this?

It doesn’t just hurt your party. It hurts mine too. It hurts all of us. If you keep lobbing softballs at us we don’t have to try. We can just look to the lies and hate that you keep letting lead you, draw a big red circle with a slash through it and ride our way back to victory.

If that’s what you’re going for then awesome. Job well done. If, however, you’re really trying to win some things perhaps you should dial back the blatantly false, racist, sexist, anti-everything but a short list of unimportant qualifiers and do your damned jobs.

What are your jobs? Not voting for people who say stupid ass things. not voting for them over and over again, stopping them when they say stupid ass things and then holding them accountable.

Be good citizens or sit down and shut up while the rest of us are.

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