@HomeschoolAnon Rachel Dolezal’s Parents Don’t Matter. Black Lives Do.
There’s an article flying around that went up yesterday on another blog about Rachel Dolezal and her parents. Usually, I would just link to the relevant information trusting that you’ll follow it but this is short and I want to be sure that everyone does the reading. So here you are.
I have a complicated thing to say.
The Rachel Dolezal story has everyone up in arms right now, accusing her of racism, appropriation, and flat-out fraud. I don’t think I’m qualified to talk about the racial aspects of this story, but I am very concerned about this:
The national media has gleefully paired itself with Rachel’s parents and is now just one more tool that her parents are using against her.
Rachel is an abuse victim. She cut off her parents years ago, and she received guardianship of one of her adopted brothers. Her biological brother currently faces charges for sexual assault, and Rachel has, apparently, been aiding the victim of that crime, prompting her parents–after years of not having any relationship with Rachel–to retaliate by outing her.
Every time we go after Rachel, we are doing exactly what her abusive parents want. Read their quotes. Their tone, their word choice–it’s what I’ve seen again and again from abusive parents, hiding behind their own self-righteousness. They want you to hate Rachel. They want you to believe that she is lying about them. They want you to hurt her.
Abuse victims are complicated people. They can and do hurt others. They can and do make awful decisions. But blaming and pointing fingers at them without acknowledging the searing impact of child abuse doesn’t help anyone but their abusers–who want, more than anything, for you to believe that everything is the victim’s fault.
Please, when you discuss this case, do so in a way that will not make Rachel’s abusers happy.
So hey, HA please take this as the obligatory disclaimer that is required when talking about race. I’m sure you’re very nice. I’m not saying you’re racist and so on.
This statement is mighty fucking white. Mighty white. Here’s the problem with what Carmen Green wrote on your behalf; you cannot in honesty divorce what Ms. Dolezal has done from the racial aspects of the case. But boy did you try. What she did hurt Black people. Her actions exhibit the simplest and most base forms of racism and that cannot be denied or overlooked or pushed to the side. Because it matters. Our lives and our pain matters.
We cannot divorce ourselves from our race as she did. Our race intersects every other aspect of our lives. Only Caucasians can divorce race from their people’s actions. Only Caucasians are judged as individuals when they do something wrong. Only Caucasians, when they cause harm, are viewed as victims and can use their past as “good guys” or survivors of abuse to mitigate their behavior. Black people, when we are the ones harmed, are demonized. When our children are murdered, they are called thugs and our ability to parent is called into question. White women especially, are protected from responsibility from their own behavior. Their pain becomes the focus. Their pain, past, present, or future, becomes the focus through a phenomenon called White Woman’s Tears. That’s exactly what this post does. It centers her pain rather than the pain she caused. And that is not OK.
What you have done here is set up a situation wherein it is impossible to hold Rachel Dolezal to the most basic standards of human decency or adult responsibility without “mak[ing] her abusers happy.” So, (and I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this was unintentional) what you’ve essentially said is that the people criticizing this woman who is still causing harm cannot do so without siding with her abusers.
What they want is for everyone to question every single things she says. I get that.
I question every single thing she says because she has be living a lie for years with no regard to the pain that she was actively causing the people around her or the pain that the revelation of her lie would cause. and is still trying to continue that lie.
That is her fault, not theirs.
How about no?
How about, instead of that we hold her responsible for her adult behavior? Because she may have been abused in the past but right now? She is an abuser.
As a Black woman who is a survivor of abuse, I made a choice to address my past so as not to continue the cycle. I am responsible for my behavior.
She is responsible for hers.
Most importantly, because she is a liar, because she has spent a decade lying about every aspect of her life, the fact that she is accusing her brother of abuse makes the accusation harder to believe. And that’s horrible. And I feel horrible about it. But in my experience as someone who escaped life with a malignant narcissist, accusing other people who have succeeded of various crimes and bad acts fits the pattern.
So I’m going to try very hard to believe anything I hear from the victim while side-eyeing the shit out of anything that comes from the lying white lady.
And before you jump in with any colorblind racist, I don’t see color, Ms. Green was just trying to be respectful drivel, I will say that I recognize Ms. Green’s efforts. She failed.
I will cede the point that Ms. Dolezal’s parent’s intentions were malignant right after you cede the point that your post painted an equally malignant abuser as a victim.