Ally Basic Training Part 4: Trust
Don’t demand it.
Don’t expect it right away.
Don’t complain that you don’t have it.
We’ve been fooled too many times before.
Part of your privilege is your ability to check out and go ghost whenever you feel like it.
We’ve seen that happen all too often as well.
A number of people I know have lately taken to informing everyone who is already allowed on their social media as well as anyone interested in joining that they have rules for who they will friend or follow or whatever.
It basically goes like this “If you’re white and I don’t know you personally from back in the day I’m checking you out before I accept a connection. If I have to scroll more than three time to find something Black Lives Matter related walk on.”
On their own feeds, that belong to them, wherein they get to make decisions and decide who they interact with.
In reaction people are losing their shit.
Losing. Their. Shit.
And making all of the excuses.
“But if I post about BLM my friends will get angry at me. I don’t want to make my white friends and family angry.”
OK then. That’s where you check out. Keeping peace on Facebook is more valuable to you than Black Lives. Got it. You do you. It’s your life. You make decisions for yourself and your interactions. I am not judging.
OK that’s a lie. I am totally judging, but I don’t care enough to read you for it. You do you. Just do you over there. Because we are busy trying not to die.
Also, we aren’t going to trust you that far because, you know, you’re not even willing to risk a dust up on your Twitter feed while we are out here fighting for our lives.
“But I have real life friends and I can’t talk about this to them because reasons.” Yeah. I don’t care about your reasons. And I don’t trust you because you care more about that friendship than our lives. Cool. Oh wait, not at all cool. That one. The second one.
That’s where you check out. You’re fine interacting on your social media page but confronting someone on their racism in real life is a step too far? No trust then. Because you’re proving you aren’t willing to do the work to earn trust.
I’m not saying that you have to be lying in the street at every die in and confronting cops in riot gear every weekend. I’m saying that we are in a state of constant mourning and we are never allowed to finish the process because there is always a new name, a new story, a new brutality for us to learn.
As I type this right this second, the police in St. Louis are attacking peaceful protesters. People are dying out there. I don’t have time for your virtual friends or your family and their feelings. And I don’t trust that you will value the next piece of state violence, the next set of official lies, the next death more than your temporary peace.
Prove me wrong.