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Blerd Chick Stories: Dear Hollywood, Please Stop

March 4, 2013

The remakes. Stop it. Really.

The Omen and Psycho were all perfectly great original movies. Shot-for-shot reproductions of them did nothing to improve or change even a tiny bit, the original story, cinematography or any damn thing. That’s just lazy film making.

Stop it.


The Total Recall and Halloween remakes, sucked everything interesting or quirky out of the stories and just made them troperific and annoying retreads. I was particularly annoyed by the total recall remake as the original was one of my favorites.

Straw Dogs and The Karate Kid were kind of products of their times; especially Straw Dogs, which was originally a story or suspense and the impotence of the main male lead. Now it’s about gore and misogyny. Well, OK, the original was about misogyny too but in a less blatantly ignorant of current social norms kind of way.

And now they’ve remade both Red Dawn and Footloose, which offends me most of all. I loved those movies as a kid, lurved them. I don’t care that they were trite and had plot holes. I don’t care that they were kinda xenophobic, in the case of Red Dawn and mighty White in the case of pretty much every movie made in the 1980s. I really don’t care at all.

They were great flicks. And now they’re ruined by crappy remakes.

Apparently, they’re going after Carrie now and worst of all THE EVIL DEAD!

Stop it right the hell now! LEAVE MY MOVIES ALONE! Write something of worth and stop strip mining my childhood for money!

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